In the past couple years I’ve had a handful of inquires on my sexuality, but recently I’ve noticed a lot more unnecessary attention has been brought to the subject.

Up until this point in time I’ve taken these inquires with a grain of salt and deflected them merely as playful remarks. I realized that I never thought to consider the perception that people had assumptions of how I should be acting. This became evident over time as I kept receiving the same questions. Far too often I meet somebody new and they seem to carry this assumption that I am supposed to be acting like a “black person”. Which translates to, “you’re not speaking properly” or “you’re not dressing properly.” Eventually things get a little less awkward and are okay again.

However, it doesn’t end there.

The next phase my race isn’t called into question, but my sexuality is instead. And this is what really gets me about the ordeal. Through these roundabout actions you seem to be saying that there may be something wrong with me. You see that I’m acting in a way that isn’t necessarily representative of what you thought you knew, are told otherwise, and continue to observe this behavior and once again deduce that something must be wrong.

Why must something be wrong?


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